[More Example Stories]

Living with a Small Car

There are some things one simply cannot do in a small car. At my age, there are some things one does not want to do. Taking three buxom sopranos on a picnic for example. I would definitely squeeze the hamper of food and drinks in easily enough but two of the ladies would have to go on the bus.

Volkswagen kindly provided me with a ‘Polo’ Hatchback to use during my annual race expedition to the UK and Europe. Some of my friends, and indeed, many people I hope never to speak with again, consider driving anything less than the 6 or 8 cylinder dinosaurs they were weaned on, as similar to traveling by donkey.

When I discovered the  allocated “touring car” was to be one of Volkswagens smaller models, I considered it a great opportunity to discover if there would be a huge psychological modification required to adjust to what I had just learned was likely to be the size of the cars in our future.

Immediately prior to the European visit I attended a transmission symposium in Detroit. A ‘symposium’, I discovered, is a meeting of like minds gathered to provide mutual back scratching accompanied by lots of profound verbal declarations and designed to encourage further symposiums in the future … all accompanied by large plates of food and gallons of coffee that, to me, tasted suspiciously like it had already passed through the aforementioned donkey.

At this gathering of eminent gearbox knowledge, there was considerable waxing lyrical regarding the upward spiral in the price of fuel and how the automotive world must deal with this devastating phenomenon - just at a time they are starting to get a profitable understanding of our current 100 year old technology. Part of the answer, we were told, was to rid the world of large heavy vehicles and replace them with compact efficient transport that would extend the life of the oil reserves until a new generation came along to sort out the dilemma the industry finds itself in. Today there are about 1.2 billion cars in the world. By 2018 it is predicted there will be 4 billion. Now, I strongly disagree with this prediction as total absurdity based on false assumption - but that’s the official plan. Over 85% of these cars are forecast to be what we consider today as ‘small’. That means you will probably own one soon.

A Volkswagen Polo is definitely small compared to my normal mode of transport which has 7 seats and weights in at 2.7 tons. The particular Polo waiting at Heathrow had 3 doors including the big one at the back. Approaching it with our trolley load of luggage did cause a few anxious moments. The bags appeared higher and wider than the car. This, you understand, was based on the fact that my minder required 7 weeks of gowns and bloomers together with adequate makeup. 7 weeks supplies (I was frostily advised) take into consideration a couple of changes in season and provision for the aging process which includes a likely shape change due to the expected sedentary traveling lifestyle. Astonishingly it was all gobbled up by a very useful luggage space without having to sell the rear seats to the shifty guy hovering about in the hope we would be forced to leave stuff behind. While conscious of being hosted by Volkswagen, I decided that my observations and learning would include all small cars in general as in Europe this is already the normal mode of transport for the majority of civilized people.  

“Small cars’ come in every shape and ethnicity. Already the world is witnessing enormous growth in this class from not only Europe, but also Korea and Japan - and soon we will see a huge selection from China and India. They may be small but most come with all the bells and whistles that make motoring very civilized.

Previous long past experience in cars this size had required lots of high revs and gear changes to encourage them to make the pace I required. This is no longer the case. The small engines of the current era have amazing torque. This is the sort of technology developed through the World Rally Car program that limits cubic capacity and revs but enables engines to be developed that will eventually pull the world off its axis. Given the typical torque produced by these small engines there is no need to change gears in the manner of a demented baker late with the Easter Buns order.  From as low as 1500 rpm these engines will pull away without complaint and rev right through to 6,000 plus - at which time the world will have become quite a busy place.  Driving is easy. Parking is easy. Visiting the fuel pump is certainly easier.

Through cunning design the interiors are an adequate comfortable size for 4 people of typical proportions – although the new breed of Americans will have to also purchase a trailer for their children.  Apart from the time I briefly considered adding the 2 vivacious Swedish hitchhikers to my entourage, during the 6 weeks of our daily life in the Polo, we never felt the need for more space. Far more often we appreciated the size and design of the car in the narrow European streets or country roads and never really missed the pointless spaciousness we had become accustomed to in the big vehicles. As the price of fuel increases I’m sure the compact nature will become even more acceptable or even preferable.

Don’t get me wrong. These are not ‘perfect’ cars. There were times that I hated being passed on the highways by Mercs and BMWs driven by harassed looking executives with suspiciously blond wives and children bound and gagged in their seats watching ever repeating DVDs.  I wanted to wind down the window and shout wise words about global warming and oil reserves but by the time the gap ‘tween roof and glass was wide enough to accommodate the volume and extent of my speech they had disappeared into a fuel station. They surly did hear my satisfied laughter.  The distance achieved by the tiny 45 litre Polo fuel tank far exceeded my bladder. Most stops on some of our endurance runs were for personal relief and adding fuel was an afterthought.  Pity someone doesn’t invent a technology whereby one produces fuel for the other.

Once off the major highways the performance of the small cars becomes more than adequate. Motoring over mountain passes and through twisting valleys on narrow roads is pure bliss. Not a Merc in sight, but often another small car driven by a local delighted to show their knowledge of the roads, prowess of their machine and the extent of their driving skills. Such occasions called for very smooth driving or my Minister of Transport Affairs would comment to the effect that the race was last week – or next – but certainly not now. Never-the-less, exciting duels between mighty mice piloted by mighty men often ensued. The Europeans know how to make fun cars – especially small fun cars.

Having become very satisfied with the typical New Zealand ‘B’ style road performance I arrived in Germany. Germany is the country that exists only to determine the maximum speed at which a vehicle can travel. If it were not for the Autobahns nobody would ever bother to visit Deutschland – unless you were a fan of Oom-pah music or Bitburger and ‘Currywurst mit pommes’ which is the staple diet. Once on the autobahn the urge to test the top speed of ones transport is just too great to resist. Even the presence of the Minister of Sensible Action and Responsible Activities could not reduce the overwhelming desire to press the little peddle itching under my right foot. I managed to convince her that the activity was pure social research in the cause of determining if a responsible motoring enthusiast could actually own and live with a small car. She did however, become a little prone to comment when it transpired I needed to engage in some multitasking to achieve a record of the event. Scientific research must include proof or it is not valid. Let the photographic record show that a manual Volkswagen Polo driven one handed, tailgating a diesel Passat with a teeny tail wind, can almost reach 200kph. That’s remarkable performance for a small car.

While undertaking this exercise we were passed by a Police car. All 3 occupant officers looked at us for longer than I thought necessary – but I guessed they were impressed. Very civilized – here in New Zealand that incident would have resulted in a prolonged study of the penal system from a practical inside perspective. 

After 8,000 km experiencing every imaginable driving condition from central London to a goat track around a Norwegian fjord, I became convinced that motoring enthusiasts of the world will not die the agonizing slow death of transport by shopping cart. Many of the small cars we will become increasingly encouraged to own will remain a pleasure to drive. The Polo had very acceptable ride quality and reasonable cabin noise in that, with the Stereo/CD and the GPS broadcasting in muted tones, I could still hear the occasional input from my Minister of Retailing Destinations.

I didn’t fall in love with the car as I likely would a Lamborghini or Audi S6 Avant from the same stable. However, when it came to giving it back, I did have a feeling l imagine one would get following the early passing of an excellent servant. I’ll miss it. There will be more small cars in my future – and I’m no longer loosing sleep over the notion. In fact, I really think saving money on fuel could be quite a lot of fun. Especially if an innovative manufacturer offers a soundproof partition between the driver and passenger.