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A Strong South Seas Wind

...Passat...

Oh how well I remember the words – “This will hurt me more than it hurts you”.  Spoken by my English teacher with beads of perspiration and a gleam of excitement in his eyes as he flexed the cane in anticipation of his daily exercise. Surprisingly I also recall many of the rules of grammar he taught and pointlessly tried to correct my domestic services and travel manager when she said, “She’s very handsome”. I explained that handsome is a masculine adjective and she should perhaps say beautiful. Silly me.

“An E-type is beautiful, this car is handsome,” she responded with an edge I should have recognised. “But you called it a ‘she’. If it’s handsome it’s a ‘he’. Dangerous ground and I had walked right into it. “All cars are ‘she’. They do all the hard work, provide you lots of pleasure, require care and maintenance - and you treat them badly”, was her debate ending salvo. I knew that was the end. “Artic blue, nice colour” was all I could think to say.

The object of our discussion was the Mark 6 PQ46 Volkswagen Passat Estate being delivered to us at Heathrow Airport for our use during a month of motor racing and touring in Europe. The PR gentleman from WV UK was obviously proud of the car but a little nervous to be handing it over without restrictions to someone who had openly declared he was headed for Nurburgring. Not to mention someone who was silly enough to argue with his wife over an adjective.

He asked if I needed any tutoring in regard to driving a car I had never sat in before. “Huh. I’m wearing trousers, I have whiskers, body odour and very little luggage. I’m a man! I don’t need teaching about cars”. He wished us a pleasant journey, passed me an oblong slab of VW embossed plastic and disappeared. With hindsight I wish he had hung around a little longer. Not to witness my distress and embarrassment but to end it quickly. The first thing to do when loaded is to turn on the ignition, adjust the seats, mirrors and find an acceptable radio station. Arrhhh yes – the key. I couldn’t find it. I pressed all the buttons on the embossed plastic slab and successfully locked the doors, opened the tailgate, turned on the headlights, set off the distress alarm but failed to deploy anything that looked like a key. To my everlasting shame I accepted the advice of   domestic services who suggested I try sliding the slab into an orifice on the dash. Press and Drive ignition. She must have done some secret research. The TDi engine sprang into life and we were away. Never mind setting the mirrors and stuff. That would be done in a more private location where nobody would notice if the alarm went off again.

Volkswagen didn’t become the world’s 4^th largest car manufacturer by accident. In spite of using strange model names based on games using small balls. Volkswagen or ‘folksvagen’ as my German friends say, means ‘Peoples Car’.  Their tagline, "Aus Liebe zum Automobil", is translated as "For the love of the car". That’s what they do most and best – make wonderful practical cars with love, care and attention to detail, for people who need well made practical cars. As I started to say, their model names seem to be letting the team down a little. Passat is the obnoxious and urgent sound one would make if one advertently swallowed a fly. It actually means. ‘A medium strong, constant blowing Wind in tropical Sea-Areas’. Ok, we’re a little better off for knowing that and it is still a strange name for a car. However, there’s nothing strange or obnoxious about this car. The Passat is very good - extremely good. Especially the TDi (diesel) model which is justifiably the most popular power option in Europe. For the second year running the Passat has been deservedly named ‘What Car?’ magazine’s Best Family Car 2007. After driving it for over 6,000km I can understand why.

Our first week in the Passat was spent zigzagging through England and Wales. Our car was equipped with GPS. If GPS had been invented way back when touring to strange places in cars first started, the world would be a different and better place. For starters there would be far fewer divorces. My wife used to see the world in 2D – on the pages of a map. I used to get, well, a little tetchy when I discovered that the turning we really needed had just been passed. There are many times we circulated roundabouts up to 10 times while deciding the required exit. Other motorists must have been entertained by our choice of sights to see. The Passat GPS is intuitive - very easy to use. No need to consult the manual. After experiencing a 154kph average up the M40 towards our first night in an ancient pub once owned by a notorious member of the ‘Who’ (outrageous party stories told by the locals) we decided to continue next day via the A & B roads towards our destination in North Wales. The Passat shines in all conditions. The motorway cruising at high speed is quiet, stable and comfortable. It’s made for the European Autobahns. The amazing torque (350Nm @ 1750rpm) of the 2litre 170PS diesel engine provides surprising grunt and very handy passing ability on tight roads comparable to New Zealand. Driving this hard working but classy lady can be fun.

A few days latter we again crossed England on ‘A’ roads to Snetterton where I was competing in the famous and amazing Citroen 2CV 24 Hour Race. That’s another story – but during this week the Passat was pressed into transporting 4 people and their baggage … plus a fold-up bicycle. The luggage area inside the big tailgate is cavernous and capable of accepting all a normal family would require. That’s its target market. Mum, Dad and the terrorists together with their holiday requirements on a long comfortable journey. Both the Passat Car and Estate are extremely popular in the UK. We observed happy poms driving home from the DIY shops and garden centres with astonishing loads and successful ‘reps’ pushing the limits in a way that would have our police in tears and our boy racers taking ‘grow up quickly pills’ so they could buy a Passat too.

Following Snetterton it was another one day 550km dash across England to southern Wales to check out the Pembrey motor race circuit in anticipation of a race there next year. On arrival at Pembrey late Thursday afternoon the gate was open but no-one seemed to be in attendance. The temptation was too great. To prove it’s versatility and pace, a lap record at Pembrey for a TDi Passat has been established and currently held by a New Zealander. Another couple of laps would have been faster but an irate Welshman parked a rusty Bedford van across the chicane so I had to retire – before he finished loading his 12 gauge. I felt that a welcome, a congratulations and a gulp of sparkling cider would have been more appropriate but he indicated that a hasty retreat was more prudent. The Passat is good in reverse too.

Another 500km day to West Sussex via Dorset was a delight on a combination of roads that included country lanes infested with tractors and combine harvesters. While cornered in a farm gateway to let him past, an elderly tractor driver took the opportunity to interrogate me about these ‘German’ cars. The last time he sat in a German car was one fitted with a machine gun that he overpowered in 1944. Now he’s considering buying one if his EEC farming subsidy continues along with the strong Sterling exchange rate. It’s a very disturbing and bewildering time for him. “I thought we won. Can’t buy an Austin anymore” he told me.

A few days later we crossed the channel and cruised to Antwerp for a business meeting. I am a founding shareholder of a company that specialises in ‘on track’ insurance for race cars. It’s very popular in Europe and the concept is now worldwide. For the occasion I put the Passat through an automatic car wash. Given the instructions were in the Belgium language I was delighted with the result. There were moments while the wheels were being thoroughly scrubbed and the grill debugged that I wondered if we were being prepared for sacrifice. It was the best car wash I’ve ever experienced although it did swallow an astonishing pile of Euro coins.

On through Holland into Germany to our principal destination – Nurburgring. Unfortunately we arrived a couple of days too late to put the Passat around the 20.810 km Nordschleife ("Northern Loop") as it was closed for race preparation. We would certainly have whipped the well viewed Jeremy Clarkson effort. Now in Germany the VW was on home territory and among friends and relations. Well, not always. On the way while cruising the autobahn in a very civilised fashion at a little under 200kph I decided to establish the figure that everyone would want to know – what’ll she do? The VW sales material says 223kph and I will not dispute that. To be honest, at that speed I was reluctant to take my eyes off the road and it is never a good idea to ask ‘domestic affairs and travel management’ to check such things from the passengers seat. At maximum velocity the car was very well behaved, relatively quiet and comfortable. The scenery was passing at a very satisfactory rate and I also zipped past a Porsche. How good is that? The driver of the Porsche didn’t think it was very good at all. His lip immediately curled into a sneer and he set about proving that a VW cannot stay long in front of a 911. He succeeded but I had the last laugh. I passed him again a few km up the autobahn as he pulled into the service lane for more fuel. He had been destroying the world by gulping petrol while we were sipping the cheap stuff and feeling very smug. Astonishingly, our total fuel consumption over 6,000km in conditions ranging from typical slow city driving to lots of Porsche challenging white knuckle stuff was 7.4lt per 100km. That is amazing! ‘Normal’ sensible driving will achieve 6.5lt per 100km overall.

I must mention the gearbox. While the standard manual 6 speed is popular in Europe, the box to have is the twin clutch DSG auto/manual. This is a superb unit that can be shifted sequentially on demand or preferably left alone to do it’s own thing in full auto. The shifts are hardly perceptible and the car seems to always be in the right gear to do the business required. Like most modern transmissions there is a ‘sport’ mode. On Volkswagens I have experienced, pressing this seems to do more than just hold the gears to higher revs – it seems to alter the engine management as well because the cars seem to go feral. The exhaust sound changes, acceleration is dramatic and the whole experience is very pleasurable. I found myself using it even when not required.

Don’t get me wrong. This car is not a wolf in sheep’s clothing. More like a fox in lycra. It’s nimble, quick and cheeky. No wonder it’s among the most popular family cars in Europe – and the best in the world.

On reflection the whole Passat experience was amazing. It handles well, has excellent performance, superb brakes, lots of practical room, is very quiet and comfortable and has a whole array of accessories not found in many other cars for the price. In addition to the GPS, twin climate control, auto wipers and headlights, front and rear parking sensors, auto dimming mirrors, and other stuff that is becoming common, our demonstrator featured ‘dynamic curve lighting’. That’s marketing jargon for lights that are both auto height adjusting and swivel around the corners. Even better was the feature that illuminated the curb when turning under 30kph. It’s very handy for low speed maneuvering at night. This car also has electric steering. Superb. Great feedback feel and some trick software that makes it work perfectly at all speeds and in all conditions. There is a ‘G’ meter to reduce sudden swerve from side winds and other complex stuff that can only be described as marvelous.

I think this car should be renamed the Volkswagen Magnet … it so attractive in so many ways.

A Strong South Seas Wind

...Passat...

Oh how well I remember the words – “This will hurt me more than it hurts you”.  Spoken by my English teacher with beads of perspiration and a gleam of excitement in his eyes as he flexed the cane in anticipation of his daily exercise. Surprisingly I also recall many of the rules of grammar he taught and pointlessly tried to correct my domestic services and travel manager when she said, “She’s very handsome”. I explained that handsome is a masculine adjective and she should perhaps say beautiful. Silly me.

“An E-type is beautiful, this car is handsome,” she responded with an edge I should have recognised.

“But you called it a ‘she’. If it’s handsome it’s a ‘he’. Dangerous ground and I had walked right into it.

“All cars are ‘she’. They do all the hard work, provide you lots of pleasure, require care and maintenance - and you treat them badly”, was her debate ending salvo.

I knew that was the end. “Artic blue, nice colour” was all I could think to say.

The object of our discussion was the Mark 6 PQ46 Volkswagen Passat Estate being delivered to us at Heathrow Airport for our use during a month of motor racing and touring in Europe. The PR gentleman from WV UK was obviously proud of the car but a little nervous to be handing it over without restrictions to someone who had openly declared he was headed for Nurburgring. Not to mention someone who was silly enough to argue with his wife over an adjective.

He asked if I needed any tutoring in regard to driving a car I had never sat in before. “Huh. I’m wearing trousers, I have whiskers, body odour and very little luggage. I’m a man! I don’t need teaching about cars”. He wished us a pleasant journey, passed me an oblong slab of VW embossed plastic and disappeared. With hindsight I wish he had hung around a little longer. Not to witness my distress and embarrassment but to end it quickly. The first thing to do when loaded is to turn on the ignition, adjust the seats, mirrors and find an acceptable radio station. Arrhhh yes – the key. I couldn’t find it. I pressed all the buttons on the embossed plastic slab and successfully locked the doors, opened the tailgate, turned on the headlights, set off the distress alarm but failed to deploy anything that looked like a key. To my everlasting shame I accepted the advice of   domestic services who suggested I try sliding the slab into an orifice on the dash. Press and Drive ignition. She must have done some secret research. The TDi engine sprang into life and we were away. Never mind setting the mirrors and stuff. That would be done in a more private location where nobody would notice if the alarm went off again.

Volkswagen didn’t become the world’s 4^th largest car manufacturer by accident. In spite of using strange model names based on games using small balls. Volkswagen or ‘folksvagen’ as my German friends say, means ‘Peoples Car’.  Their tagline, "Aus Liebe zum Automobil", is translated as "For the love of the car". That’s what they do most and best – make wonderful practical cars with love, care and attention to detail, for people who need well made practical cars. As I started to say, their model names seem to be letting the team down a little. Passat is the obnoxious and urgent sound one would make if one advertently swallowed a fly. It actually means. ‘A medium strong, constant blowing Wind in tropical Sea-Areas’. Ok, we’re a little better off for knowing that and it is still a strange name for a car. However, there’s nothing strange or obnoxious about this car. The Passat is very good - extremely good. Especially the TDi (diesel) model which is justifiably the most popular power option in Europe. For the second year running the Passat has been deservedly named ‘What Car?’ magazine’s Best Family Car 2007. After driving it for over 6,000km I can understand why.

Our first week in the Passat was spent zigzagging through England and Wales. Our car was equipped with GPS. If GPS had been invented way back when touring to strange places in cars first started, the world would be a different and better place. For starters there would be far fewer divorces. My wife used to see the world in 2D – on the pages of a map. I used to get, well, a little tetchy when I discovered that the turning we really needed had just been passed. There are many times we circulated roundabouts up to 10 times while deciding the required exit. Other motorists must have been entertained by our choice of sights to see. The Passat GPS is intuitive - very easy to use. No need to consult the manual. After experiencing a 154kph average up the M40 towards our first night in an ancient pub once owned by a notorious member of the ‘Who’ (outrageous party stories told by the locals) we decided to continue next day via the A & B roads towards our destination in North Wales. The Passat shines in all conditions. The motorway cruising at high speed is quiet, stable and comfortable. It’s made for the European Autobahns. The amazing torque (350Nm @ 1750rpm) of the 2litre 170PS diesel engine provides surprising grunt and very handy passing ability on tight roads comparable to New Zealand. Driving this hard working but classy lady can be fun.

A few days latter we again crossed England on ‘A’ roads to Snetterton where I was competing in the famous and amazing Citroen 2CV 24 Hour Race. That’s another story – but during this week the Passat was pressed into transporting 4 people and their baggage … plus a fold-up bicycle. The luggage area inside the big tailgate is cavernous and capable of accepting all a normal family would require. That’s its target market. Mum, Dad and the terrorists together with their holiday requirements on a long comfortable journey. Both the Passat Car and Estate are extremely popular in the UK. We observed happy poms driving home from the DIY shops and garden centres with astonishing loads and successful ‘reps’ pushing the limits in a way that would have our police in tears and our boy racers taking ‘grow up quickly pills’ so they could buy a Passat too.

Following Snetterton it was another one day 550km dash across England to southern Wales to check out the Pembrey motor race circuit in anticipation of a race there next year. On arrival at Pembrey late Thursday afternoon the gate was open but no-one seemed to be in attendance. The temptation was too great. To prove it’s versatility and pace, a lap record at Pembrey for a TDi Passat has been established and currently held by a New Zealander. Another couple of laps would have been faster but an irate Welshman parked a rusty Bedford van across the chicane so I had to retire – before he finished loading his 12 gauge. I felt that a welcome, a congratulations and a gulp of sparkling cider would have been more appropriate but he indicated that a hasty retreat was more prudent. The Passat is good in reverse too.

Another 500km day to West Sussex via Dorset was a delight on a combination of roads that included country lanes infested with tractors and combine harvesters. While cornered in a farm gateway to let him past, an elderly tractor driver took the opportunity to interrogate me about these ‘German’ cars. The last time he sat in a German car was one fitted with a machine gun that he overpowered in 1944. Now he’s considering buying one if his EEC farming subsidy continues along with the strong Sterling exchange rate. It’s a very disturbing and bewildering time for him. “I thought we won. Can’t buy an Austin anymore” he told me.

A few days later we crossed the channel and cruised to Antwerp for a business meeting. I am a founding shareholder of a company that specialises in ‘on track’ insurance for race cars. It’s very popular in Europe and the concept is now worldwide. For the occasion I put the Passat through an automatic car wash. Given the instructions were in the Belgium language I was delighted with the result. There were moments while the wheels were being thoroughly scrubbed and the grill debugged that I wondered if we were being prepared for sacrifice. It was the best car wash I’ve ever experienced although it did swallow an astonishing pile of Euro coins.

On through Holland into Germany to our principal destination – Nurburgring. Unfortunately we arrived a couple of days too late to put the Passat around the 20.810 km Nordschleife ("Northern Loop") as it was closed for race preparation. We would certainly have whipped the well viewed Jeremy Clarkson effort. Now in Germany the VW was on home territory and among friends and relations. Well, not always. On the way while cruising the autobahn in a very civilised fashion at a little under 200kph I decided to establish the figure that everyone would want to know – what’ll she do? The VW sales material says 223kph and I will not dispute that. To be honest, at that speed I was reluctant to take my eyes off the road and it is never a good idea to ask ‘domestic affairs and travel management’ to check such things from the passengers seat. At maximum velocity the car was very well behaved, relatively quiet and comfortable. The scenery was passing at a very satisfactory rate and I also zipped past a Porsche. How good is that? The driver of the Porsche didn’t think it was very good at all. His lip immediately curled into a sneer and he set about proving that a VW cannot stay long in front of a 911. He succeeded but I had the last laugh. I passed him again a few km up the autobahn as he pulled into the service lane for more fuel. He had been destroying the world by gulping petrol while we were sipping the cheap stuff and feeling very smug. Astonishingly, our total fuel consumption over 6,000km in conditions ranging from typical slow city driving to lots of Porsche challenging white knuckle stuff was 7.4lt per 100km. That is amazing! ‘Normal’ sensible driving will achieve 6.5lt per 100km overall.

I must mention the gearbox. While the standard manual 6 speed is popular in Europe, the box to have is the twin clutch DSG auto/manual. This is a superb unit that can be shifted sequentially on demand or preferably left alone to do it’s own thing in full auto. The shifts are hardly perceptible and the car seems to always be in the right gear to do the business required. Like most modern transmissions there is a ‘sport’ mode. On Volkswagens I have experienced, pressing this seems to do more than just hold the gears to higher revs – it seems to alter the engine management as well because the cars seem to go feral. The exhaust sound changes, acceleration is dramatic and the whole experience is very pleasurable. I found myself using it even when not required.

Don’t get me wrong. This car is not a wolf in sheep’s clothing. More like a fox in lycra. It’s nimble, quick and cheeky. No wonder it’s among the most popular family cars in Europe – and the best in the world.

On reflection the whole Passat experience was amazing. It handles well, has excellent performance, superb brakes, lots of practical room, is very quiet and comfortable and has a whole array of accessories not found in many other cars for the price. In addition to the GPS, twin climate control, auto wipers and headlights, front and rear parking sensors, auto dimming mirrors, and other stuff that is becoming common, our demonstrator featured ‘dynamic curve lighting’. That’s marketing jargon for lights that are both auto height adjusting and swivel around the corners. Even better was the feature that illuminated the curb when turning under 30kph. It’s very handy for low speed maneuvering at night. This car also has electric steering. Superb. Great feedback feel and some trick software that makes it work perfectly at all speeds and in all conditions. There is a ‘G’ meter to reduce sudden swerve from side winds and other complex stuff that can only be described as marvelous.

I think this car should be renamed the Volkswagen Magnet … it so attractive in so many ways.